What Happens in Therapy Doesn't Stay in Therapy
Imagine sitting in a room which is comfortable, sitting across from the same person for years. Imagine doing this once or twice a week for 45 minutes for years on end. Imagine sitting in front of this...
View ArticleIt Really Is What It Is
Relapse, deteriorating, worsening…symptomatic, sick, not well, dip. What should this be called? It came on so quickly, I am simply not sure how to label it and yet it feels like it needs to be labeled...
View ArticleStigma Fighters: Anti-High Functioning
http://stigmafighters.com/risa-sugarman-anti-high-functioning/
View ArticleDeeper Facts of My Depression
Most people have some level of understanding of depressive symptoms: sadness, hopelessness, sleep issues, appetite issues, etc. There is so much more though that people may not realize.Firstly, the...
View ArticleA Mother's Day Message to My Daughter
It was dry heaving as the morphine took hold. It was seeing this wet, screaming, angry face. It was sobbing while trying to have you latch on. It was listening to your screaming as I tried to soothe...
View ArticleKetamine Infusion #1
We drove in almost silence. His hand in mine while he drove. I felt numb and nothingness. We arrived and I felt such sadness. Walking into the hospital, where I have been inpatient and received ECT, I...
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Ketamine Infusion #2
As my friend drove, I tried to be with her in the car in conversation. It was difficult. I felt very anxious about my treatment. I walked into the treatment room upon arrival as they were ready for me....
View ArticleKetamine Infusion #3
Yesterday I had several hours where I was more alert, involved and could formulate and explain my thoughts. My therapist told me I seemed a bit more together. By the early evening though I began to...
View ArticleKetamine Infusion #4
I had a few days where I felt clearer, more with it and actually part of life. It felt good. I wasn't "cured" as my mood was not greatly improved but it was certainly a difference. By Saturday late in...
View ArticleKetamine Infusion #5
I was not looking forward to today's infusion, but again, I am holding on to hope so it was worth it. Today's experience was slightly different. I felt more aware of my surroundings than in my prior...
View ArticleKetamine Infusion #6
The past few days have been very difficult. I am almost completely off of my anti-depressant and I feel it (need to go off of it and then wait 2 weeks before starting new anti-depressant). I have been...
View ArticleHospitalization: One Week
A week ago today I went for my early morning ketamine treatment at the hospital and never left. The plan was set in motion last Wednesday. I needed to be hospitalized and I needed to be safe. I was not...
View ArticleWelcome Home! You're All Better?
I have been home from the psychiatric hospital for a week now and, at times, I am overwhelmed by very small things. It is a wonderful thing to be discharged from the hospital particularly when there is...
View ArticleKveller: After My 5th Psychiatric Hospitalization, I’m Looking for Peace
http://www.kveller.com/after-my-5th-psychiatric-hospitalization-im-looking-for-peace/
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Caution, Caution
Five weeks later, after a week in the psychiatric unit and several ECT treatments and new medication, I have begun to feel better. What exactly does that mean? Well, for one thing, I am thinking more...
View ArticleWhat's Good for the Body is Good for the Brain?
I have sacrificed my body for the sake of my mind and I have mixed feelings about it. I have taken medications to combat my depression since I was 19 years old. They have either helped me feel better...
View ArticleRecovering from Major Depression and a Bad Day Do Not Mix Well
I did not sleep well last night after working a full day and thinking about my baby starting 2nd grade today, so I must begin with that. My recovery from my latest depressive episode has been what is...
View ArticleQuick and Meaningful Update
I look in the mirror and see me - yet at the same time, I am not sure who I see. There is strength that I still don't comprehend - it stares back at me, waving at me, doing anything it takes for me to...
View ArticleThe 11 Miracles of My First Jewish Women’s Retreat
It was two years ago when I planned to go to my synagogue’s women’s retreat and I had to cancel due to treatments for my depression. I was devastated. I was so excited that my time had come to attend...
View ArticlePsychcentral--Ketamine Infusions: They Didn't Help Me But They Could Help You
https://psychcentral.com/lib/ketamine-infusions-they-didnt-help-me-but-they-could-help-you/
View ArticleHuffington Post: Ketamine Infusions for Depression: Beware Pop-Up (Private)...
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ketamine-infusions-for-depression-beware-pop-up-private_us_59f90fd2e4b0b7f0915f62cb
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My Family's Experience During and After Illness
I have been thinking about this as I have been recovering from my most recent severe depression. These are important questions that often get ignored as the focus is always on the "patient." The...
View ArticleSocial Security Disability, Medicare and Me
I applied for SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance) in November of 2016 after my husband spoke with his brother and sister-in-law who are both lawyers. They believed, based on the previous years...
View ArticleWhat Does it Mean to Be an Aunt to Young Adults?
My niece and nephew are my heroes and I do not think they have any clue about this. I was 23 when my niece was born and I fell instantly in love. The feelings were mutual and I couldn't be happier when...
View Article7th Inning Stretch
Here we are. It has been seven months since I began my recovery from my fourth back to back severe and treatment resistant depression. It is the longest span of time of relative health I have had in 4...
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